So here is the thing. My sister who is 7 years older than me just had a daughter and I think I´m jealous of the baby, which is rediculous of course, but I still feel it.

I´m 25 and ever since I moved out at 21 and became more independent my mother pretty much "dumped me" is what I feel, even though during that time I developed intense psychological problems (anorexia among them) so I had to move back in with her for some time, but she pretty much ignored that and ignored me. My mother always used to treat me much smaller than I actually was and I think when I claimed my independence she didn´t take that well and drew back from me like now that I wasn´t her "baby" anymore she had no "use" for me anymore. And of course I was hurt very bad by that and it made the conditions worse.

It was similar with my sister because I think she couldn´t deal with me being so sick, so she drew back from me too. And there was a time were I felt very alone and very sad.

Now, that there´s a "new" baby I´m jealous. I don´t need their attention anymore, I´m past that doing my own thing I feel.

However, hearing my mother say things like: "We love her (the baby) so much and it´s "our" child and we love her" makes me ache very very badly inside.

Because I feel like... when she can love the baby, why did she stop loving me? And now that she really does have a new baby she will forget about me even more because now she "really" doesn´t need me anymore.

I know it´s very stupid and doesn´t make much sense, but this is what I feel.

I guess I felt abandoned at some point and now I´m just really jealous of all that love that I would have liked to have.

I would talk to my T, but she´s on vacation rightnow.