Sounds like you are going thru such a rough time. I understand. Don't apologize for posting a lot. That's what we are here for, to lean on each other. If we can't support each other, who will. I agree with Frankbtl. Slow down and think about each item, one step at a time. Wait until things calm down to think about the big "future". Your parents probably worry because they love you. The other day I was so wishing I could take some time off to heal physically and emotionally. I am working 50 hours a week and supporting myself and three other adults. I am getting weary. I know how you feel. Hope things calm down and work out better for you and you get some peace.