I have an idea of how you feel. I was in a support group for 5 years. I remember not wanting to open up for fear of vulnerability, but I kept going. Before I started the group I had a meeting with the facilitator to go over what to expect, group rules, ... I told her how much I struggle with trust and feeling vulnerable. She calmed my fears by letting me know that what I do is on my time frame.

As I listened to the other members I found I had a lot in common which gave me comfort and confidence. And as I listened I started to trust the group members and eventually I started to open up. They got me through a lot. To this day we remain in contact with each other and get together every other month. They have become my confidants.

If I knew I needed to ask for time, but thought I might back out when I got there, I would send the facilitator an email letting her know I needed time.

I have a few suggestions:

1. Talk to your facilitator outside of group to let her know what you are struggling with. She should be able to help you through this.

2. Breathe, breathe and then keep breathing. When we become anxious our breathing is the 1st to go and we tend to only use the upper part of out lungs. When I feel that anxiety I focus on my breath - I breath deep into my abdomen, picturing my breath enter as I inhale, counting to 4 and the out as I exhale again counting to 4.

3. I also have a medallion a friend gave me that I carry with me always - I will hold that medallion as well.

4. If the breathing is not working I will write out what is causing the anxiety. Sometimes seeing the cause written down helps me realize it's not that bad. Or I write what are the worst things that can happen and what are the best that can happen.

Having a group of people who support you is wonderful. It will take time for you to trust them and it will take time to open up, but it is well worth the struggles you face now. Please talk to your facilitator.