I have done the pill thing and the nap thing before. It's a bit shocking how similar of a situation it is. I hope I can keep going without breaking. I just hope I don't have a major anxiety attack or heart attack in the meantime.
Oh No! This is not good at all. If you crossed the line into pills you have started breaking - in my opinion. What kind of pills? Are you drinking alcohol at when you get home? Adderall can cause a heart attack. I got caught doctor shopping and just started chomping on Musinex. If they had a surveillance camera my boss would know that 60% of the time I was paid for nodding off in front of my monitor. Also, I was having anxiety or panic attacks so frequently I didn't notice because they seemed normal. I would become short of breath, break out in red hives, my face felt like it was on fire, it was hard to maintain my balance because my legs felt like jello and I was petrified that I would start screaming curse words, act insane or do something perverted. Do you get regular check ups from a MD? Because during all of this I had to go on blood pressure medication. And if a MD or shrink puts you on any benzo (anti-anxiety) pill you're wasting your time. After about a month you'll build a tolerance, and they are so addictive most won't write a refill. It's the last thing anyone wants to hear, but exercise, sleep and therapy help more with anxiety.
Maybe you could write down the most stressful things about your job and the things you can handle then look for a different, comparable position? Trust me, you don't want someone else to make this decision for you or kill yourself trying to prove you can accomplish the impossible. In this job market employees' work loads are triple what they would be in a good economy. I understand that and everywhere will have an amount of stress. But, the days of company loyalty are gone, and different positions on a resume can show diverse knowledge.
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There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
Erma Bombeck
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