Were your situation mine, I think I would work on it myself. I don't believe we do anything because of another, I think that's an "excuse." Yes we have patterns we've grown use to or been taught, etc. but they're still our patterns, not the other person's.

Rapunzel, I think you're hoping for something "good" and specific from your T by telling her? If you don't get what you're expecting, you'll be "hurt." All that is what you are struggling with and kind of puts your T in a bind? I'm sure you have heard of/read situations/posts where someone threatens to kill themselves if someone else leaves? Communication is to find out about another, what they are thinking/feeling. Having an agenda before we start a conversation, wanting certain results from it without telling the other person isn't fair to the other person.

If you feel (you are all who matter, we do not, it's your life and therapy) you should tell your T, I would keep it in the present. I would tell her how you're feeling now (wanting confirmation you are not a burden now but she may not give that confirmation as you would only be telling her you "wish you had confirmation" -- you cannot dictate or will to another what they must say to you). If you hold on to five months ago, you build a crazy, unstable structure of flimsy plywood packing crates to climb to the moon :-) The only way I ever found to be "safe" is to stay in the present and stay "honest" at all times about what I am thinking and feeling no matter how much it hurts.