For the past few days I have been having vivid imaginings of cutting myself to relieve the pain inside of me. I see myself cutting the underside of my upper arm, then fast forwarding to seeing the scar as a symbol of how I survived these emotions. I am having a very difficult time with my family at the moment and on top of that my boyfriend's family are starting to get tired of me because I am not happy and sociable at events and functions all the time...the reason being because these emotions are so strong within me.
I feel like a failure to my father and my brother and I are still not talking.
I have never been a cutter. I have never cut myself in my life, and I am ashamed to admit that I looked at cutters with disdain. Now, for the first time ever, the thought of buying razors and quietly letting the emotions bleed out has been entering my mind frequently. What should I do?