Thank you for your responses, Juliana and Sabau. It means so very much to be acknowledged and cared about when one feels very much alone and scared.

I can control tears; I can refuse to badmouth anyone, as some fellow faculty tried doing in an effort to commiserate (they meant well, but tearing anyone else down does not make me feel better about myself), but the one thing I can't control is physical stress responses.

I have raging diarrhea, my joints ache, and lethargic fatigue is almost overwhelming.

I never log in the AM, but it meant so much to me to have a response or two that I logged on before leaving home, just for this little burst of comfort.

Juliana

Sabau