Umm - I didn't go to my second ever therapy session yesterday. It was a spur-of-the-moment decision... I realized about 2 hours before the appointment that it was at 1 PM instead of 2. I had to hurry and get ready/throw on a little make-up, make my son get ready, take him to mom's... I had told her it was at 2, too... On the way I started thinking about not going and at mom's just plain talked myself out of it. I finally had someone in my corner who would actually listen to me, but I don't think I'm going back. I've been feeling somewhat better - anxiety not ever present in the background. Just mostly mornings because I lie in bed trying to go back to sleep but thinking about whatever is going on at the time or bills and getting myself anxious. Nothing is going to help my anxiety over bills but having the money to pay them, so... My other large cause of anxiety I discovered was adult separation anxiety; so just finding that out has relieved me, and all I can do for it is various anxiety techniques that she told me about first visit - that I had already read on the internet anyway. Other than that - just life. I miss my cats and home and am naturally going to feel depressed and down about it. That's how it is. I expect it and can just deal with it. Some days are better than others, and some rare days I don't cry at all. I do feel I'm starting to enjoy life a little more - I'm getting my excitement back for reading and studying French and Icelandic. Been kind of thinking about a part-time job and know of a few places, but with my PTSD I don't want to really overwhelm myself. It doesn't take much right now. We could use the money, though. I just wish our little area here had better choices. I'd love to work in a music store, book store, or pet store. I may check the libraries, but they're teeny tiny and probably don't need any help. I suppose I'm kind of okay today... Just feeling down and kind of lonely. Fall is coming, my son will be back in school next Thursday, kind of feels a change in the air or something that is a little unnerving.