Why try to fool your pdoc, if you are in need of help?
It's to your benefit and those around you, that you just be honest with your pdoc, be up front and just tell him or her exactly how you feel, that you feel life sucks, that's what you just told us that is how you feel.
Talk about your feelings and any medication options and/or talk therapy with a therapist.
I understand your frustration, but hiding stuff from the person you a paying to see for help, is counter productive, leaving you where you started. If you truly wish to get through this, be honest with your pdoc so he or she can really help you and if you are uncomfortable with your present pdoc, then seek a new one. Don't give up.
Please, take care now,
DE