Hi ThatGirl, first of all well done on stopping the cutting!!! It's not at all unusual for urges to linger/come back but you've been doing really well if you can try to hang in there just a bit longer........and just a bit longer......as long as you can......sometimes the more time passes without the easier it can get............maybe not quickly, but in time..........
Now you said that you'd mostly stopped because of the swimming in gym but was there anything else that helped you with that? Any strategies you used e.g. distraction............if you can "plant them in the dead center of your mind" and focus, focus, focus on them............and you might even want to find something different to add to those coping skills. There are so many to choose from and if one, five, ten, twenty..........don't really help, don't give up, it doesn't have to mean that you're at fault or that the urges can't be beaten. I mean look at how far you have got already!!!
And it feels like there's a little more than the urges going on......or triggering them..............with the memories...........???
Have you got any support with where those memories are coming from or do you think that you could find support from someone with that??
And although I know you don't want to be reported to the counselor, maybe you could let them in just a little on what's going on for you, it might be a scary thought but they are there to help, and they should have some experience in supporting you with what you're going through. Perhaps let them in just a little to start with???
And of course you know, that we're here too if you want to share some of it..........like you're saying (??) it can be really hard being/feeling all alone when things are hard, but just know that you don't have to be/you're not alone in this..........any time you want to talk we're here.

Alison