you are both totally right. i was wrong for doing that this week. don't know what the hell possessed me to do that. i guess i was just tired of going there and being more down than happy. i don't have many happy days so i wanted to make that day happy. he told me he did not want to change my meds because he was"afraid to touch me" due to rapid cylcing. but he had increased the anti-dep and that is helping me feel better. thank you both for caring and your posts i really appreciate it. sometimes i need a kick back to reality.