Not all of us made the unconscious decision to be unhappy as children.

I was quite a happy child. It wasn't until I was 32 that depression hit me. There was no conscious or unconscious desicion. Diagnosed as clinical depression only meds have been able to help me. I don't believe I am addicted to being unhappy.

It would be nice to believe I would not be having suicidal thoughts, if I could just convince myself i wasn't depressed.