Lately, I try to check in before I "turn in" for the night, and see how people are doing, if anyone needs a listener, a response from somewhere out in a bleak universe.

It makes me feel connected, a little less alone, a little less worthless, to be a part of this list.

The weeks I have spent in this forum, understanding others' pain, has helped me to truly understand that this is a disease that talks to us.

I understood it with a kind of book-learning before, but I did not really absorb in my heart. But you have shared your deepest pain and darkest moments -- and I know that each and every one of you is loving, compassionate, filled with mercy and kindless. I don't know how talented or smart or pretty/handsome or wealthy or well-connected socially anyone is -- and it doesn't matter. The rich person who jumps off a roof because of real or imagined failures does so in as much pain as the homeless person who lies down on the railroad tracks.

And as I see how wonderful each of you is, I understand better that this mean and nasty and cruel voice haunts my time is an illusion -- a disease, a virus, a cancer of the mind and heart.

Thank you all so much for being part of my world.

G'night. Peace and blessings.