Wow... I have to agree that it's rotten of her. I mean, that's very kind and generous of her to spend that money on you in the first place (!) - but wow - it sounds like there are strings attached. And, I wonder if those strings are compromising your therapy. How are you going to be able to figure out your own needs, or how to stand up for yourself, or whatever you need to figure out - if you can't even express your anger or frustration with her without having to worry about looking like your not grateful enough for what she's done.

It seems crazy-making to me (sorry). Like you'll never be able to "grateful enough" to make her happy (though maybe I'm reading my own stuff into it).

So, I don't know - maybe I'm quick to run - but I think I'd seriously consider a new T too here. I'd actually be a little wary about paying her back, because it's not clear what you're paying back (the room rental? the electricity? etc.) If you really want to, I'd actually look at how many sessions she did for free, and try to pay back the normal rate for those sessions (or whatever you normally pay after your insurance) - something that you can get your head around, rather than a magical number that she just pulls out of the air.

But really, I kind of think this falls into the category of "reasons your T needs to go get some supervision". Sorry... good luck with it.