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Originally Posted by Asiablue
It's not therapeutic to point it out constantly when you've already told her it makes you uncomfortable. And no she's no entitled to anything in your therapy. And that money doesn't entitle her to any rights either.
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Well, not constantly, but two or three...
Perhaps entitled isn't the right word, but I do want honest feedback on how I'm making the therapist feel? Because surely that's the key to knowing where I go wrong out in the world, I suppose? And also because if I'm being inadvertantly horrible to someone, well I want to know.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123
I think she's just trying to walk you through what it means to be cared for, and you maybe aren't getting that yet.
Maybe she needs a different approach, maybe you need more work on it, maybe you need to work it out with someone else, I don't know. But based on the history of your posts here with her, I don't think it's anything as simple and crass as trying to guilt you about the money.
However... I think there is separate value in trying to pay her back. Even if it's just an extra $10 a week or something, or that you let her know you're paying it forward to a charity, so that someone else gets some of the benefit you did now that your financial circumstance is a bit better.
And as for the door slamming, could she have just been trying to set a boundary? Seems like a reasonable limit for her to set.... not because she saw you for free or anything, but just as a basic expectation.
If she is dealing with countertransference, a feeling that you've bitten the hand that fed you type... well, that would be different- up to you to decide since we weren't there.
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Yes to the door slamming! I have never done it before, I was surprised at myself, but I felt it was either exit the room in a volatile way (I seized the door with too much force, it went flying into the wall with a bang) or give into a mad urge to beg her for more time, or slink out pathetically because it was nowhere nearly enough. I was a mess, and I got angry at her smiling brightly at me like all was fine and couldn't click seamlessly back into being able to deal with the world.
Regarding the money, I just wonder if she resents it more than she says.
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Originally Posted by glitterrosez89
Honestly, because of the way she talked to you acting like you were obligated to be a good little well-behaved client because she did a favor for you, I would just leave her and not pay anything back. Doing something nice to be charitable is one thing. Doing something nice so you can use it against the person is another.
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Yeah, I did feel like I was supposed to be a good client. She didn't do it to use it against me, though.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I do not find storming out and slamming a door to be a big deal. If a therapist cannot handle such a thing, it is their problem.
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I don't think she couldn't handle it or was scared, etc. I'd say she thought 'ungrateful little *****', locked up her office and then gave it no more thought. Fair enough, really. Slamming doors was not a mature way to go about communicating whatever it was I was trying to communicate.