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Originally Posted by Leah123
Maybe you can just ask her that.
And if she's only mentioned it 2-3 times and each time was in the support of the argument that she does care for you, evaluate that and see what seems more reasonable to you as far as her feelings- she secretly (?) resents you, or she might just really want you to get that she cares, or perhaps some of both. What does your gut say? Not your fears, but your intuition.
Or perhaps it is not that she resents funding the therapy, but maybe regrets that you didn't learn from it that she cares for you?
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I think it is a mixture.
Quite a few times now she has said she's working harder than me and I need to meet her halfway. I can't seem to figure out how to do that steadily though? Other times I will say hey I am trying really hard and she says yes I know.
I feel like I've failed therapy in her eyes. The first six months were so validating and empowering and the message I got from her was that I would be really able to fulfill my potential as a human being one day. It was like lovebombing, in a good way - it certainly broke my pattern of being reckless with myself and shrugging of inflicting damage to myself.
But the last six are almost like a palliative care therapy, where she can see I'm actually not as great as she mistakenly thought at first and now it's about teaching me to be grateful for whatever I can get, even if it's not really good enough.
That sounds a bit nuts, and I'm not saying it's truth, I know how fogged up my life lens is just now. But it feels like that's how we roll.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog
I don't say it is a mature way to communicate- just that it does not equal ungrateful little ****.
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No, I know
I guess what I mean is it wasn't about her not being able to handle it, because she wouldn't have been intimidated, more about her being annoyed.