Quote:
Originally Posted by Leah123
Well, many people have suggested you change therapists, and I think you were very close to it a couple months back, so....
I mean, you could ask her what work she thinks would be helpful, so you have something concrete to do,
Or you could take your impression and find a more boundaried therapist, though as far as this one goes, I can't agree with the feeling that her providing so many months of free therapy and the other things she's done for you is making you settle for less, "be grateful for whatever you can get" in any way, quite the opposite, really. 
That feeling you describe of not seeming as good as you did at first- you know- that's an issue you've been attributing as one of your own patterns here for a long time, not just something happening with her. |
No, I didn't mean the time of abundant therapy was all about being grateful for what I can get. I meant the here and now, in the more boundaried relationship - that feels like her rose tinted spectacles fell off and she saw I was pretty useless, and now she feels it's adequate for me to learn how to take whatever I can get and shut up and be happy with it. I must stress that is how it feels, not what I believe to be true.
And yep, I do know it's my own pattern, but I'm at a loss as to how to snap out of it, and when people's behaviour could possibly be for this reason it's difficult to dismiss it.
She did give me a piece of work to do - to try to hold on of one caring thing she or the friend I mentioned have done and allow myself to believe in that care. I can do that. Easily. I believe that they care, I am grateful, but it's not enough. Or it doesn't feel enough. I feel awful saying that, but it's the reality of my stupid feelings.