I have been in therapy for a long long time and have accomplished alot... well I think kinda. It is always such a struggle. I am now trying to connect with people and not keep them at a distance. I am o.k. with letting others in for what they have to offer or need but not so good with sharing myself.... bruises and all. This seems to be the focus right now in therapy. I am also in what I call the dumper right now. I am off meds after being on for years. A med transition did not work... now considering another but not yet.

Meanwhile I feel that I am trying to change me but it is sometimes incredibly difficult. I am down to the core issues for me... and this is major. I am afraid that if I do not produce that my T will feel that our work is done.... or all that he can do.

I am feeling a fear of abandonment. Can anyone relate or can anyone help me. The child within me is sad today and worried.