SecretGarden

You have come to the right forum if you are looking for others who can relate to your feelings of abandonment! (((hugs))) I know I feel that way in therapy from time to time. Some of it is transference from past abandonments and some of it is "real" (actually due to feelings that T will abandon me). I think we can get a lot of reassurance from our T's if we share those feelings with him or her.

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I am afraid that if I do not produce that my T will feel that our work is done

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I think it could be helpful to share that exact thought with your T. Has he/she ever said that to you? "Unless you solve this problem in the next month, I simply can't help you anymore." Progress is so incremental. Maybe if you list all the ways that therapy is helping you, you can see that you actually are making progress. And maybe go over your list with T if you feel he/she is not seeing it either. Once my T said to me, "you don't have to perform when you come here." I was feeling this huge pressure to share with him a really big thing, and he wanted me to know I didn't have to share if I wasn't ready. I was generating all the pressure, not him. Do you think that in part maybe you are the one generating the pressure and that your T is OK with your current pace?

Take care,
sunny