It's true that it is not our T's job to give advice, or make decisions for us. So I'm glad you have made your decision, and you seem comfortable with that. However, it is his job to lead you insight with consistency. And it doesn't sound like you are just sensing inconsistencies in his actions-- they are obviously there, you just typed one out for us. Did you point this out to him? I be forward and say it. "I am noticing some inconsistencies-- you have told me one thing, then another." (Yeah I'm so tough when I suggest what someone else should do, lol). But I do think it's really important for you to do this next time you see him. Especially regarding how he reacted to bringing your husband for counseling. It was something you were so strongly adverse to, and then you changed your mind. And then T changed his mind! I would want to know what type of a message he is trying to send to you.