I am sorry that you are in so much pain. You should not feel guilty about cutting or any other SIV; that is how you are surviving. It may not be 'pretty', but it is better than the alternative. Most people do not understand SIV and are repulsed and disgusted at the mere mention of it, so I would wait until your 'self' is stronger before sharing it with non-medical folk. Do you know why you cut?

It was 13 years before I heard the term SIV and was finally able to understand why I had 'cut' and beat myself back in the early 80's. It took another 10 before I admitted it to anyone. The shame is that great.

Please seek help from a medical professional. Prozac honestly saved my life and with new options available everyday, one of them should help you.

I know change is scary because you have gottern so good at coping and surviving while loathing yourself, but accepting yourself is the easiest and only way to really live. You are not alone. And the world needs you!