Jonalexa,

I wish everyone were like you... I, too, avoid getting involved where alcohol is concerned.

The thing is... when women drink, usually the guys are drinking too... everyone's judgment and boundaries are impaired. It's unfortunate but true... I don't expect a man who has been drinking to be on his best behavior... my father in law was an alcoholic and when he drank he was AWFUL -- not sexually, but he was a nasty bigot with a big mouth.

Sundance,

He took advantage of you (that is very clear) and it was awful freezing up like that. I can see why the incident would be very traumatic. I do want to ask you, though, why you let him give you a massage if he gave you the creeps... and why you were leaning against him afterwards.

I agree he was out of line... but sometimes those of us with PTSD just don't advocate for ourselves the way we should. For instance, we "see" the red flags... the guy gives up the creeps and weirds us out but we are unable to translate that instinct into appropriate protective action "I shouldn't let this guy touch me"

I say this because I, too, got in a couple of uncomfortable situations like you describe and I had to put a lot of thoughts into figuring out where I needed to said "NO" very emphatically. Unfortunately, saying nothing will often be interpreted as consent.

Anyway, I don't intend to offend, this is just based on my own experience and healing process. M