I'm 51 (52 in December). I've always been youthful, but since hitting my 50's things are different...I'm realizing more and more that "getting older" really means something. Traditionally, I was a courageous person who faced the hardships in life quite well. Now I feel fearful constantly, and obsess over illness and death (loved ones, my own) to a point at which I am not properly enjoying my life.