I hear you Pink! There is nothing wrong with what is in your head. I know how strong that pull can be. I'll bet when you get to know the real 'him' you'll be able to find out why you don't like him. Or at least I hope you can find that to quiet the thoughts. I'll tell you my short story.

My transference jealousy is that my T has the type of personality that I connect with and he's older and I love that too! He's also vibrant, daring, funny and appears to be outspoken, at least in session. He has a loud laugh too like me.

My husband? Quiet, reserved, conservative, sometimes funny, and my age, rarely laughs. Giggle...the total opposite of what normally attracts me.

So whoever my T is dating, and I'm sure he is, I want to hate him. Oh, based on conversations we've had I think he might be gay. He's never said that but he has said other things that kind of point to it.

And guess what? I find that attractive apparently too!! I have a few gay male friends and I'm real close to one of them. I mention this because they've always been considered 'safe' by me. I can talk, dress and act how I want because it doesn't have an impact on them. They are nuturing and we take care of each other.

But now, I'm trying to make an impact on my possibly gay T. I'm wondering if he is silently giggling like 'great a girl is interested in me'. I'm jealous of his male patients too when I see them...