I came upon another article with another perspective: On Hating Yourself Less | World of Psychology

The author speaks of the work of Anneli Rufus. Rufus reminds us:

Low self-esteem does not enlighten us. Self-loathing is not holy. But, all else aside, low self-esteem makes us contemplative and introspective. Our perfectionism makes us diligent. We celebrate small pleasures — albeit because we believe ourselves unworthy of big ones. We try hard. We aim to please. Low self-esteem makes some of us creative — as we seek meaning in pain. Low self-esteem makes some of us respectful — because we assume everyone is better than us. Low self-esteem makes some of us hilarious — because self-deprecating humor is humor indeed. Low self-esteem makes some of us good listeners — because we do not want to listen to ourselves. Low self-esteem makes some of us empathetic — because we have suffered, so we know….We who hate ourselves are not saints. And yet self-loathing in spite of itself — has given us gifts that we get to keep.

I must say I have not thought of facets of my self-deprecation as gifts.