Washing: I was mine every other day, to every 3 days depending on how dirty it gets (after a work out, I usually only rinse it in the shower). Washing every day as has been stated will severely damage not only your hair but also the folicles.

Shampoo: Since you're in the states, I can say there are a lot of good products you can use but take care what they are made to do, and for what type of scalp they are made to maintain. Garnier has a wonderful shampoo that is very gentle on my hair (I have very fine hair but a LOT of it)...I've also used Pantene but the hype didn't play out. Also used 'mane and tail'....found it better than pantene but left my hair feeling a bit heavy on the second day.

Conditioner: Again, Garnier has my vote. They also have a de-frizzer that is amazing, however, very little is needed and I only put it on the hair just at my ears and down, NOT on the top or scalp. Brushing regularly moves the de-frizzer up to cover the rest of the hair without making it look stringy or greasy. (btw...a good de-frizzer, if you don't have any handy, is belive it or not, Trojan jelly---it's slickery and usually has no scent. Avoid the one that gets warm on contact--not sure what that would do to your hair lol But seriously, if you try it once, you'll see just how effective that stuff is!)

Good luck, and as has been said, be patient. I've been growing mine out a little better than a year (3/4's down my back now), using the products I mentioned after much much trial and error. And take care with that 'dry shampoo'...the stuff is fiendishly flammable. I won't use it, but if you do, don't smoke for at LEAST an hour after application!)