Quote:
Originally Posted by Hetty
Re your locker dream - high school anxieties stayed with me for years, and I often had exactly that dream where I'd go to my locker and couldn't remember the combination. Then I'd have to go to the office and admit to them that I forgot my combination again.
My first therapist was a marriage counselor that my now-ex and I went to when I was 26. If not for trying to save my marriage, I doubt I ever would have gone to a therapist or counselor. I got lucky because the counselor was very good at helping us express our feelings and needs, while he did not get personally involved as friends often do. He focused a lot on "reality" too - what is actually happening. I was so impressed with his skills that I started taking psychology courses, eventually getting a degree in human development and then a masters in education and counseling. I think that a good counselor can be a godsend, but if you first go to someone who gets you feeling worse instead of better, you might need to find someone else. "Shopping" for a professional who helps you isn't how most people think of getting a therapist, but a good match can really help. Among other things, you need to both like each other.
Are you a person who can learn from books? There are some great self-help books available. You can go to a bookstore and check out the self-help section, or check out online bookstores.
After my first counselor, I decided that it was a resource that I wanted to keep in my life. I used to make new connections by looking under social services in the yellow pages of the phone book. Currently I am ill and homebound, but I have a social worker that I like very much who comes and visits me once a month. She is very good at helping a person focus on what they need, and she is also personable and friendly.
What inspires you, or comforts you? What did you love to do as a child? What do you look forward to? And what are your strengths?
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I've never been good with books to be honest. I like the idea of them but have never been able to get into them.
I can't seem to go outside unless my parents take me out. I can't use the phone or do anything social. The words won't come out and if I can manage to get them out they get all garbled sounding along with the feeling that I am about to black out. I kind of hate trying to answer questions about myself because it just never seems to work out. I'm not really inspired by anything and I don't really know what comforts me.
As a child I never went out because I was afraid then as I am now of socializing. I had a reputation as a mute up until high school. I never wanted other kids to come over and I never played with other kids. The only thing I did as a kid was play online mmos by myself or some other video game. I was given a lot of negative attention by my father and brother because of the mmos. Specifically the first MMO I played and grew up around, Everquest. My dad was really into that game when I was a kid and would have me try to play it. It's more of a game for adults and overall as mmos go Everquest was a really hard game. I wasn't very good at it and it put a lot of pressure on me because my dad would expect me to do certain things which I would fail at and then get punished for. Though it felt like that with anything I did that if I failed I would get punished and told I was worthless.
I don't really have anything I am good at. People tell me I can write good online but then again I don't have the drive to write anything and it overall feels depressing because I get obsessive about the quality to the point that it depresses me from trying. I feel like I am being pigeonholed into trying to develop myself into something I am not because of my lack of skills and ability to go out.
I could say I am socially retarded but I feel my social ineptitude comes from just my lack of general brain power.