I have been into bdsm since childhood, like 11 years old *shame. Never got a boyfriend or my estranged husband to fully partake in the fetish with me, they usually started playfully with me and gave up 5 mins in saying how Im a hoot and switched to (regular) sex. I was diagnosed depressed not bipolar, but I can say that when I thought I had a partner who was interested in my fetishes I was as happy as a normal person.