I definitely do that all the time just that my triggers aren't the same as yours. In fact, it's like an instinct for me since I've been doing it for the past few years. Likewise, I'm afraid that if I don't, I will break and lose it in front of everyone. That is what I need to avoid at all costs. The other thing that is different for me however is that sometimes I don't notice when I'm suppressing until later I feel the pressure building up and am unable to let it out. Right now, I think it'd be better if suppression isn't used, but actually I don't know how to unblock my emotions....