I don't know I feel weird right now. I feel happy on the inside, or I feel like I want to be happy but I can't show it. Like I can't find the energy to show it ? I don't know. When ever I feel good or happy and want to do things that I like it's as it my mind has this way of making me remember everything that's going on around me that makes me sad. It's like my brain is like no you can't be happy you have all this other stuff to worry about, don't forget your life sucks. I don't get it. I'm always upset with my parents because my mom puts everything on me and I don't live there and it's like she wants me to be sad because she is sad, and it kills me that I can't save her. And my live in boyfriend is a drug addict and that is basically what my live revolves around. But I've been reaching out, here and in salmon to try and get my life back. But I feel that my brain won't let me. I know my mind doesn't control me and my thoughts don't control me but how am I supposed to get back to my life if my brain keeps stopping me ?