I was diagnosed with Social Anxiety when I was 24 years old, but I'm pretty sure I have had it all of my life.

When I was a kid, I rarely participated in any extra-curricular activities, due to my shyness and not wanting to leave home. The only time I did was when I was in the 4th grade, and I joined a karate class. Obviously, it didn't go well. The teacher was a complete jerk and belittled me in front of the whole class. I dropped out shortly after, and never went back, nor did I really try to do anything extra-curricular for the rest of my childhood.

I have even tried to join a ball hockey team, twice. Neither time, it turned out. The first time, I was done after one game because I guess I didn’t stop enough 4 on 0s. The second time, it started out okay, but we had this mouthy chick as a goalie. One time I had a bad day at work and had a game that night. The goalie was being mouthy to me, and I finally had enough and left and never came back. So you can see why I don’t really participate in any sports or things like that. Three strikes and you’re out.


5th grade was hell. For reasons unknown, I was the one that always got picked on. I would sometimes get called names and things like that.


I didn't even go to my grad or prom because I had no date, nor the courage to ask someone out (a problem that persists to this day), plus I hated school and wanted to get the hell out of there.

It’s really hard for me to make friends. The small group of friends I do have just smoke pot, get drunk, and party hard. Needless to say, I stick out like a sore thumb since I don’t do any of those things.

I have always been shy around people, especially women. I have never mustered up the courage to go out on a date. When I was working in a restaurant years ago, we had a bar manager who was so pretty and gorgeous. I could barely muster up the courage to say anything to her, fearing I’d look like an idiot. I just feel so inferior to a pretty girl. There is a girl who is a customer in the cafeteria where I work. I want to ask her out, but I don’t know if she is taken or not.

I'm 34 and alone. I have never had a girl friend, and I probably never will. As I said before I just want to wave the white flag and just surrender.

Thanks for listening.