Hi Zulphur21.First I'm proud you,look how much you've done with going to school and wanting for your career.Sounds like you are on over load.I understand about the fear,and getting anxious.Please stop wanting to hurt yourself.I try to write on days I feel like you do and look back and realize I didn't die on those times I felt like I was going to,and I'm talking about way back in jan.As for the boyfriend,if you only seeing him on holidays,and he says you are needy,then you to think serious who is most important his feelings or yours.Honey its yours.Take care