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alexandra_k said:
okay... i'm not seeing the inconsistency. i mean... if cast it so that he was trying to communicate what it is that he wants (e.g., to see you both in therapy or not) then I'm seeing a contradiction, but I'd be really very surprised that that was what he was trying to communicate.

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I didn't really understand what this paragraph means, alexandra.

The inconsistency is that for 6 months he has been trying to convince me to do something and we have talked about the pros and cons all along. He never tried to hide the cons from me. I have been informed all along. And in fact, whenever I brought up a con, he was quick to refute it. Finally, I saw some benefit and agreed. He was ULTRA ENTHUSIASTIC about this and couldn't wait to dig in. Then all of a sudden, next session, he completely reverses himself. Without any explanation at all. I think if he had said something like, "I've been thinking about this and have changed my mind. I now don't think it's a good idea because of X, Y, and Z." But I'm getting no new info, just T reversing course, both factually and emotionally, with no acknowledgment of his prior stance at all. It's like he has a twin brother and sent him instead. (Hmmmm, that provokes some nice fantasies.) Anyway, hope that explains it better.

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i'm wondering whether the good feeling comes from a sense of connection and whether the bad feeling comes from a sense of disconnection

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Yes, the bad feeling comes from a sense of disconnection. It's very jarring when we have been so close before. And so it switches back and forth, one session we are close, the next session we are more distant. It's hard on me.

Got to run. Going out of town....