Thank you very much for what you have written. Now I have read it, the hard part is really believing in it. There is a difference, I have found.

I agree with what you say about the frame of reference. Sometimes it's difficult though, I don't mean to sound negative, but I am the other end of what you were saying. You see, I've been sad, isolated and depressed for as long as I've had a memory. But, I didn't know that, I only learned at 23 that I might actually be depressed. The result is, I knew nothing else except sadness, I don't know what happiness feels like. Your frame of reference idea is spot on. I know you were trying to shed a positive light with that, but I just wanted to show that it can apply in the negative sense too. Another one that goes with that is when you don't experience loss, you'll never know what gain is. You see, I've never experienced happiness in my life, so I never knew I was sad! The result is if happiness had a chance to come into my life I wouldn't even know it. So, how did I know I'm possibly not happy? I saw that other people around me had many more things in their life - relationships, friendships, full lives and that I was lacking that, and they seemed a lot more motivated to do things because of it. Also, by the time I was 23 and realized that I'd never had a girlfriend (or even touched by a girl at that point), and that nobody had ever invited me to their house for a party or any type of social gathering, I realized something was not right. As a result, I realized I had depression and then the floodgates were opened. I never had the symptoms before, until then. I realized I was sad and left out, and things like suicidal thoughts came naturally after that. But, this is where it gets interesting. I made a mistake. You see, I began to define happiness as what I saw from other people. I thought to be happy I needed what they had. And, naturally, I couldn't get it, because I wasn't like them in any way. Naturally, that made my depression worse. That's when I realized I was different all my life. A bit of research and visits to a psychologist quickly led me to an answer - I was autistic all along. You see, in my world, nobody ever told me I had a problem. I was leading a depraved life and didn't even know it (your frame of reference idea). It's only when you begin to see what others are doing with their lives that you begin to see that it looks like you are missing out or something. But, I now realized I was different and I, despite being depraved, was happy in my own way, because I didn't know that I was sad (I know it sounds confusing). It's like let's say a guy gets born on the street to parents who live on the street, or in the wilderness, the setting is irrelevant. He never knows what it's like living in a house, going to school, having money, etc. But, I doubt that guy is depressed, why? Because he doesn't know that not having that stuff is supposed to make you sad or feel like a failure of some kind. Ignorance is bliss. But, the issues come when you get taught or shown by others that there are certain things in life that are nice to have. If you're a man, then these will most likely be a wife, a nice house, a good-looking fit and ripped body, many friends, good amount of money and so forth. It's then when the guy eats the fruit from the proverbial "tree of life" and the shells fall off his eyes. He realizes he is nowhere near where he should be, when compared to others his age. The same thing happened to me. It's then when you are cursed, because you now know, you have the knowledge, you can see yourself in the world's eyes. That opens the door for depression and all the other nasty things that plague that guy from that day forward. I've been trying mighty hard to change my thinking since realizing this. I have some small victories, but it's difficult. I'm not as depressed as before, I've realized I am unique and I can find happiness again in my own way, as defined by me. But, it's hard. You have to believe in yourself again, and it doesn't happen overnight. Plus, once this curse has got you, it doesn't like to be shaken off. I might have kicked the depression, but I have other problems. When I had depression, I wasn't thinking straight, and I let some people into my life I shouldn't have. They are now part of my life and they are taking a huge toll on me, financially, among other things. Also, all the damage caused by the depression are now permanent scars and although they have healed, some things I realized will never be perfect again. That sucks, but at least I'm not so dark and sad anymore. Some days though are tough, but I guess that's just something that's going to stay forever. You can heal your wounds, but not your scars, unfortunately.

Oh, and trust me, I listen, even when nobody thinks I am .