and... it is working:

> I have reached a decision on something I was really stuck on. It's almost like my perception that T was being inconsistent and indecisive made me see I am the one who has to be decisive, consistent, and strong here. I can't depend on him to be that way. This is my life, my decisions. And I made a big one. I'll share my decision with him next time. I feel good about that. I think I have been depending on T too much to help me make decisions. It's quite a burden to thrust on anyone, and really not his job.

indeed! if he focuses on pros at one time and cons at another and he does this repeatedly over time... then there is little to be done but to give up trying to figure out what he thinks and so... one makes ones own decisions. when they turn out well then we develop more of a sense of self and more of a sense of competence in ourself :-) when they turn out badly... oh well... if we never made mistakes we would never get to learn from them.

the pros and cons thing... is a great skill to learn too :-)