I'm not blaming you! You're blaming yourself, apparently. But since neither you nor your wife are willing to talk about it, you're not likely to come to any resolution. I do understand that you feel like not asking for sex because of potential rejection and/or discomfort for your wife, but that's an excuse, not an answer. I've been in a similar situation myself. You wouldn't have written if you weren't bothered by the current state of affairs. There is no way for you not to be sexually attracted to your wife unless you fall out of love (whatever that is) and end the marriage, or decide to try communication to unstick the log jam. Our need for sex is no less basic than the need for food and air, unless you are some sort of of super human who is above basic biological needs. It's not going away, so you've got to choose another road.

Other