I understand -- I've developed an "I'm fine" outer shell too for most people, but my husband sees the day to day depression. I think when someone hasn't experienced what it is like, it just doesn't make sense to them. To them, we should just be able to think positive and it's all better. But it doesn't work like that!
If you are in the US, is there a community health clinic you can go to? There is often a sliding scale at those. I am not sure what they can offer as far as mental health but they should at least be able to direct you somewhere if there are any resources at a reduced rate. I know some states don't have much in the way of social programs like this, but worth a shot if your state does.
One thing I have tried that does help relieve tough emotions is called "Emotional Freedom Technique", or EFT Tapping. It's kind of like accupressure but with a psychological element mixed in. Maybe worth looking into, too.
I hope you'll be able to find some help! Talking in this forum might help too.