Hi Flours,
Thanks a lot for sharing. The only thing I could say is that I do not believe in that there is an order of things where each time somebody tries something new or experience some happiness or joy, this person will experience disappointment or something bad later. I just cannot believe in that regularity of things, like a Murphy law or something like that. I do not believe in destiny. I do believe we are depressed and that we attribute some meanings to events according to our depression.
In addition, I do not think your experience of these last days is superfluous or silly. Perhaps you are too tough to yourself