Hello, thewildsucker, and welcome to Psych Central! Are you sure you aren't having some depression? You might find it helpful to talk to a therapist.

It sounds like you are being your own worst enemy right now. From what you say, you are a great guy. And I respect you for not just wanting sex from a girl. The right one will likely come along before too long, if you just relax and stop thinking the negative thoughts.

I suggest when you start thinking negatively, you find something to keep yourself busy--read a good book, watch a good TV show, get out with friends, etc. Okay?