it's not heartless... sometimes we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others. If being in that environment is detrimental to you, then it's ok to do what it takes to ge out of there. Some people are just alwasy going to make bad financial decisions, and you bailing them out won't help them in the long run... It's ok to sometimes buy nice things for yourself. And it's ok to say to others, it doesn't make you a heartless person, it just means you are taking care of yourself.