I'm BPD and my BF detaches when depressed.

I know how rough it can get when that happens to you. We've been on and off for the past almost 5 years and consecutively on for the past 2... (knock on wood. lol)
Granted our off times were due to my issues, but his detachment still stings and eats at all my BPD weak spots.

I'm sure that with good communication surrounding eachother's needs and mutual respect for those needs a long lasting loving relationship is definitely possible.

Don't let your dxs scare you into thinking otherwise. As long as both of you are committed to the health and longevity of your relationship, I see no reason why your marriage wouldn't last.

If things do get a bit too tricky, why not see a marriage counselor to help the 2 of you navigate the rocky / scary bits...