Did you say your daughter went to rehab?
Is she still clean?

Alcoholism and addiction can be very devastating to a family. I would strongly suggest Alanon for you. I am a recovering alcoholic/ addict with many years of sobriety. I can tell you from and addicts point of view that we are excellent at avoidance. This comes from a huge amount of shame and guilt we carry. Even if we are in total denial of the problem there is still deep inside a ton of shame and guilt and we use avoidance behaviors to well....avoid it, as well as avoiding any other uncomfortable emotions.

Alcoholism runs pretty rampant on both sides of my family. In the 70's my grandpa joined AA and was sober the last two years of his life. I was a little kid so didn't know much about it. When I was a teenager my Mom started going to Alanon because of my dad's alcoholism and because me and my brother were well on our way. We are very fortunate as a family as my dad, my brother, my nephew, and myself have been clean and sober for many years. This has been over the course of 40 years. Lots of ups and downs. Today we are all very close and open about it all.

Recovery is a long process. I went through a period in AA and in Alanon where I really had to look at my family dynamics when I was growing up and how it affected me. Some people call it blaming your parents but it really isn't. It is looking at the reality of how things were and learning to let go of resentments and forgiving. It is possible your daughter has resentments she is processing if she is in recovery or that she is still racked with guilt and shame. Or if she has relapsed after having some recovery there is a huge amount of shame that goes with that and then avoidance.

I hope and pray for you that over time your family will find the healing that mine has found. It takes time though. I think if your daughter stays in recovery and works on the things she is supposed to that things will turn around. In the meantime I suggest Alanon and to let her know you are there for her when she is ready and give her some space. I know how difficult it must be for you.