Hi TJ- this one's late found it in the reply box- for some reason it didn't send (or I didn't send, SORRY). From before your last message:

Hi TJ, really glad things have been better this weekend and the fact that your anxiety has reduced while at home says a lot. Maybe one step closer to discharge, hey?
And the depression.........well you're getting there, yes? And by that, I mean you ARE getting there!!!
So maybe about trying to take all the hospital has to give you while you're there to make it easier to manage/work through it???
I know it must be hard being there, but just a matter of time
And make sure you talk to staff or show them your journal if it's hard, OK? They should be there to understand and support you.
Great news about your friend visiting though, something to focus on?

Alison

And on to the next:
The dream............well hold onto the good parts of that..........it's still there, it's still your's.......it's still reminders of something/memories special to you. Let those parts give you some comfort. He was there in your life you deserve whatever happy memories are there.
As for your wife/getting to see your T, do you reckon "just" one of those communication errors? I mean I completely see where you're coming from with the.......she was getting ready..........but maybe something for you both to learn from for another time, and confirming plans............? And you know a chance to give yourself credit for how fast you can cycle!!
And your wife..............well it sounds like she already knows you love her, and that she loves you regardless.........just maybe about that balance (and you may already have it) of letting her know what she means to you in between/at the times you're both finding hard. And just that feeling of "togetherness" can make a massive difference.
Already commented on the trip to the hospital Hope you've got it on chat to refer back to!!
But on arrival........those really aren't pathetic reasons. You're looking for some sense of failiarity, security, comfort after having to come from home to there, maybe??
And the named nurse........well she should be professional enough to move on from that, to want to support you with where you're at right now............and she's not the only one there, right? There are other staff too, who you really get on with. Make use of them too, hey??

Alison