Yesterday, best friend: "yeah i'm over here eating while you starve yourself to death"
Yesterday, mom: "geez scrawny legs..."
today, mom: "Are you taking some wierd diet pill? ARE YOU?!"

why won't they leave me alone? ='( this is terrible with every line they say it's like the walls are closing in on me that much more tightly. 500 calories a day, or close at least, and every single one seems to be a little voice screaming at me "fatty!" "look you did it again! haha!" "listen to them, they're watching you and they'll watch you fall." "look at that stomach, those legs, you still have that flab? you're really not very good at this now are you?"

i'm afraid to weigh myself. the weight is going down but i keep feeling more and more fat. that's irrational, i'm irrational. I so much wish that i had someone to hold my hand and help me, to comfort me. To pin me down when i'm ready to fly away from reality. *sigh* god i wish i knew what "normal" was.

had to vent. blah. does the spiraling ever stop?