Thank you both so much.
Lily pup, I know what you mean. I know when situations will be bad for me but I worry so much about missing out on things with my kids and them remembering that. I parent from the couch way too much! I have a strong fear of being remembered as a mentally ill mom instead of a mom who has a mental illness. I guess I should get over it. I know they know they are loved. That's most important, right? Anyway, your story is very encouraging for me. Thanks again.

Alab, my doctor is calling me tomorrow. I will be honest with her and we'll see what she thinks re inpatient. I hope to avoid it like I mentioned before but if my family and doctor think it's necessary, I will do it. Hopefully some of this fear will subside so I can get up and clean . Thank you for the prayer, it is greatly appreciated!