Just the thought that one's t is off limits can make one feel real bad. Can you fantasize that your t IS available? You're just not in need of her right now....? If you really need to I suggest calling her. Leaving a message like, ''Hi, I miss you and would like to connect with you, even if only for a moment...'' This way you are asserting your need for connection with her. I think you may feel empowered, having a need and going for it....