i thought things would get better, this friend once told me it wasn't really my fault, and that they understood why i did lie. It was at the beginning, when we didn't really know each other that i lied, my friend has replied to me recently, but every time and stopped again.

I don't have many friends and probably never will, but this friend came at a time where i was completely lost, and helped me to understand and accept myself.

it was a lie, and it was my fault, but my friend said that it wasn't just my lie, but other things not attributed to me.

i lied about one thing, but everything else i shared with this friend is true, I've told this friend stuff i have never told anyone before or after, including my own family, all those other things don't become lies.

what do i do, move on ? I don't think any friend is irreplaceable, let alone someone special like that.

maybe i screwed it all up, but the lie was just a small part, it doesn't make everything else a lie, i lied because i never really had friends and i wasn't expecting such a wonderful person to be my friend. It took a lot of courage from me to come clean, and i admitted to my lie because i loved this person, whether they want to believe it or not. I am sure this person knows

yes, i am hurt, not necessarily because my friend is not my friend anymore, but because .....

you know what, i don't know what to say, i don't think words can do justice, i don't care how long it takes, it doesn't have to go back to the way it was before, but we can try again, from scratch.

if anyone reading this feels I'm silly, overly emotional or don't believe my feelings, i wish there was someway i could show you all how i feel.

i am just not the kind of person who forgets people, because every person is unique.

how is my friend doing? I wanna know.