This was triggering for me, too. I wish I didn't know that kind of desperation, but I do and wouldn't want anyone else to suffer that way. I think we all know what that's like. I'm just so sorry he felt suicide was the only way out.....he could have had the best of care, the best of medications and therapy and all sorts of things, but in the end they availed him nothing. That's how deadly this disease is. What an awful reminder.