Finally have my intake with the psychiatrist tomorrow (Tuesday). Part of me is relieved it's finally here and that I've held in there long enough to make it to the appointment. The rest of me is a flurry of other emotions. Worry that he'll be the type to just tell me what to do and not discuss it with me. Terrified he'll put me on lithium (that med just scares me for some reason). Fear I'm worse than I think and he'll immediately want me to go inpatient. Paranoid he'll just tell me I'm making it all up and to just go away. A little anxious over not knowing exactly what to expect when I walk in. But also happy that I can finally get on my way to a solid diagnosis of my issues and pleased to be starting a treatment plan.

And of course I can't sleep cause my thoughts are racing over all of it, and I still need to print off some of my posts from here to show him.