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Originally Posted by I.Am.The.End.
Has anyone read the comments on this article? I mean, I'm terrified to get married or even date (even though in a perfect world I would like to very much) and this sort of solidifies this.
I almost feel like the article is asking too much, or at least beyond what any guy would ever be able to or be willing to do. So I guess I can see why people are getting upset over the contents of the article.
And the whole attitude that guys are owed sex after they meet certain conditions (which is sort of hinted at in the article and talked about extensively in the comments) is what really turns me off from trying to ever develop a relationship. I mean, sex (well, third base at least) is demanded on the first date nowadays so how can anyone who hates being forced into sexual contact the second they meet someone supposed to date? And then the demand gets worse when you get married? If you don't give yourself up whenever and wherever your partner wants, then they threaten to cheat on you or worse…I just don't understand. I mean, I know it's an important physical desire, but people equate it to food and water. You will literally die without food and water, but no one (to my knowledge) has ever died simply from not having sex.
I think the list could be shortened down to: Don't force your partner into doing anything against their will and treat them like a person/how you would want to be treated as a person. Short of physical/hormonal problems, that should fix it, right?
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I had a look at the comments since reading your post, but they appear to be poor in quality from the start, so I did not go past 10 or 20.
I don't think it's asking too much. We don't do date night, because it's not part of our world. We do thoughtfully treat each other to fun things, though.
My husband can be immature in some ways, but then he's >20 years younger than me. He's grown up a lot, but not enough. I knew there would be that maturity gap, but it's a giant turnoff for me in some cases.
No one owes each other sex. Ick. I would like us to be better balanced, but when he's immature or bad smelling, my fires are put out. Or I feel lustful, but not attracted to him, unfortunately. (or anyone else)
About owing listening, well, everything's negotiable. We are pretty good on that, because we value it and work on it. It's possible to find someone with the same key values, but you have to know yourself and then know them before you marry, I suspect.